“May my heart be laid bare

and open

to the fire of all that is.”

I bathe. I rub my feet with oil. I rub my hands with oil. I lightly tap the soft skin under my collar bones with my finger tips, feel the rhythm soothing. I explore my sense, I smelling the fresh cut rosemary and tasting chocolate. I do this to de-armor, softening into presence.

I breathe, mouth closed through the nose, slowly. 

I keep my mouth closed, just watching my breathing. It is fast, mid belly and sides of ribs. It is the way I breathe when I am in pain. It is true.

I allow myself to breathe for a while just like this. Pain is here.

I keep breathing and I keep my eyes open, watching the candle light.

In, out.

In, out with a soft hum. Pause for two beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for three beats

In, out. In, out. Pause for four beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for five beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for six beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for six beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for five beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for four beats.

In, out. In, out. Pause for three beats.

In, out. In, out with a soft hum. Pause for two beats.

In, out. In, out.

I feel my feet. I see the candle light.

The walls of this room are white, the ceiling is gray.

I say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.